Is marriage everything in life for a woman, I asked some friends?
Female friend -“It is definitely not everything. But, yes, in India, it is made to be the “prime” goal of a person’s life, particularly a woman’s. I don’t know what exactly the reason behind this obsession with marriage is, but it is irritating when people take that to be everything in your life.”
Male friend –“I can’t say about other countries but yes, for Indians, Marriage is zenith point of life. Gender doesn’t matter. Both crave for it. It’s like marriage is salvation to them. They do everything in their life just to get married. Parents wanted to give the best education to their sons so that they can get huge dowry in their son’s marriage. They hesitate to give higher education to their daughter because if she will be highly qualified, there would be a greater difficulty in finding the appropriate match for her.”
Another Male friend –“In India, Marriages are a status symbol. Whoever gets more dowries, is the most respectful person in society.”
Me– “Marriage is and has to be supposedly everything for women everywhere. I have never come across a man ask for an advice on how to combine marriage, career, and kids. Why? Because it is a woman’s job.”
Now what I think and sturdily believe in, Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment, at least for me. I am not obstructive to the institution of marriage. In fact, I highly honor it. But getting married just for the sake of it will do no good to our mental health as well as life. To say that women in India have it tough is an obvious understatement. But even within the female population, there are severely marginalized sections.
My experience; I disappeared from Facebook for a couple of months this year. Resultantly, I was flooded with questions related to my marriage rather than my work, Academic Projects, Health or whereabouts when I got back. People on my friend list were asking if I had gotten married as I had disappeared. I asked why I would disappear even if I had gotten married. And guess, what they answered; “You would have gotten busy with your new family and wouldn’t have time to even log on to Facebook”. I was, hmm, let me say “flabbergasted”!! That’s what our society is made of. Can you believe it? You would expect a new marriage drive you to a point where you just don’t have time to yourself. Does it happen with Men? Do they get asked the same when they disappear? No. They have plenty of time even post marriage. We don’t expect them to get busy and forget to log on to Social Media. Do we? You tell me.